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Flanking her that day were a brace of youthful lieutenants, assigned by the Royal Navy to escort Gill at the Submarine Museum as she honoured her fallen husband, Ian. Elsewhere, the nation paused to focus on those who had forfeited their lives for their country. It’s a comparatively brief annual act but for Gill, 45, her widowhood is an inescapable daily existence, albeit one she has used to benefit others. Lt Cdr Ian Molyneux was a victim not of war, but of a cold-blooded attack by fellow crew member Ryan Donovan on board nuclear submarine HMS Astute 10 years ago this week. Ian, who was only 36 and the father of four young children, died selflessly, as he attempted to save others.

Astute was alongside in Southampton when Able Seaman Donovan discharged seven shots from his SA80 rifle in the control room, killing Ian and injuring another officer.

It later emerged he was angry over not being deployed on a surface ship after disobeying an order. The crew members he blamed for that escaped unscathed.

After the shooting, Donovan, then 22, from Dartford, Kent, was tackled by the visiting leader of Southampton City Council Royston Smith and its chief executive Alistair Neill, who wrestled the weapon from him. The sailor later admitted killing Ian, as well as three counts of attempted murder, and is currently serving a 25-year prison sentence.

Shortly before the shooting on April 8, 2011, a party of children had visited with their school.

The subsequent 10 years have seen Gill raise their four children alone, as well as working as a teacher and campaigning for a cluster of charities. In addition to Arron, 22, Bethany, 16, and Charlie, 13, the couple’s 23-year-old eldest son has recently finished training at Britannia Royal Naval College, Dartmouth, and is about to follow his father into the Submarine Service.

Ian was posthumously awarded the George Medal, which Gill received on his behalf at a private Buckingham Palace audience. The memory of that “beautiful and bittersweet day” and the personal, heartfelt kindness of the Queen, once a Navy wife herself, stays with her.

Gill says now that she feels “sheer pride” at Ian’s actions the day he died, but admits his murder began “an exceptionally long and difficult journey for me, my children and many others who knew and loved Ian”.

“In the past, the long patrols had been difficult to endure, but knowing he was returning made the hardship worth it,” she said. “This was a patrol like no other – the Eternal Patrol.”

“Afterwards, the submarine community really took us under their wing. The support we received from the crews of Astute and HMS Ambush was greatly needed and so appreciated during those early days as I navigated my way through the chaos of my new life as a widow.

“But it didn’t stop there. The news of Ian’s death sent shock waves all over the world, with dozens sending messages of shock, heartbreak, condolence and support.”

Alongside the Duke of Cambridge and film star Colin Firth, Gill is backing the campaign to erect a memorial to fallen submariners at the National Memorial Arboretum in Alrewas, Staffs. Currently, they are commemorated by an underwhelming metal plaque atop a plain brick pedestal.

Gill would like to see this replaced by a memorial that matches the service’s significant contribution to British defence. The Submariner Memorial Appeal, backed by Daily Express readers, is now a third of the way to raising the £375,000 needed to fund an evocative sculpture by Paul Day.

For the pandemic, she would have held a gathering of friends, family and former shipmates of Ian’s at the arboretum this week so they could come together in their grief. “It will bring immense comfort to me to be able to lay flowers for my beautiful submariner at an official memorial dedicated to the service he loved and gave his life for,” she says.

“There are so many families who have lost a loved one at sea, with no grave to visit, no place to sit and reflect or lay flowers. The memorial will provide so many with a place to finally find some peace and comfort.”

Admiral of the Fleet Lord Boyce, the appeal’s patron has said: “Our submariners are the latest generation of a service that has been secretly protecting our country for 120 years. Some 5,600 Royal Navy submariners have perished serving their country in this time, a significant proportion of what is a relatively small service. They deserve to be remembered in a fitting way.”

Lt Cdr Molyneux’s death was also the catalyst for the creation of a small Facebook group called We Remember Submariners by veteran sailor John Bradbury, where memories of Ian were posted. Interest in the page steadily grew, with it becoming established as a place to mark the deaths of all submarine veterans and crew.

An annual lapel pin was designed and sold to raise funds so a wreath could be sent to each funeral of a submarine veteran. The Molyneux children also created a special “Moly pin” to be given to the next of kin. In 2017,We Remember Submariners became a registered charity run by 20 volunteers – with Gill as its patron.

It has raised money for a plethora of projects, from providing HMS Vengeance – one of four subs that carry the nation’s nuclear deterrent – with a football kit to sending £30,000 to the families of Argentinian sailors lost when the boat ARA San Juan disappeared in November 2017.

We Remember Submariners also donated £10,000 to the arboretum memorial appeal.

Following Ian’s death, Gill would drive her children, then aged from three to 13, on a five-hour weekly round trip from their home in Wigan to Cheltenham for counselling at juvenile bereavement charity Winston’s Wish.

As a result, she pushed for the opening of a drop-in centre in Wigan, as well as the setting up of a service for grieving military children called “The Family Has Been Informed”.

Additionally, to prevent others struggling to find assistance as she had, Gill became the founding director of Wigan Borough Armed Forces HQ, which opened its doors in November 2018 and is named Molyneux House in memory of Ian.

A one-stop shop for all serving and former service personnel and their families, it provides social, pastoral and medical support, as well as housing the Wigan Sea Cadets – renamed TS Molyneux GM in 2015.

“It’s about giving a little bit back. When I was first widowed I felt I was looking for help but didn’t know where to find it. I don’t want people to struggle if I can help it,” she explains.

“Ian was my rock, very devoted and an amazing father. I feel blessed for the time I had him. He was also a community-based person – I knew when I met him that I’d have to share him. His death was a huge loss to a lot of people.

“I’m lucky. Ten years on I know the Submarine Service is still there to pick up the phone and that they’ll ‘get it’.

“Just today I received cards from two of Ian’s colleagues. It’s amazing and very comforting to know he’s still remembered, especially for our younger children. And I will always wear dolphins [the submarine service symbol] on my heart.”

Ian deployed for the final time in HMS Astute in September 2010 but grabbed stints of leave at home prior to his murder.

“He was able to make a surprise visit home on Valentine’s Day which was so exciting – and I’m so grateful for it now,” said Gill. “He and the children cooked a Valentine’s meal at home. It was the last time we were all together and the last time we saw him. It’s a lovely memory to have.” 

For more information about The Submariner Memorial Appeal, and to donate, visit submarinermemorial.uk

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