Widow paid £10,000 to help terminally ill husband die at Dignitas
Prue Leith discusses assisted dying
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A widow has told of the heartbreaking journey with her terminally-ill husband as they “reluctantly” travelled to Switzerland to end his life.
Anne Norfolk, 69, travelled with 65-year-old husband Patrick and their two adult daughters to the country because he didn’t want to “suffer” from motor neurone disease (MND). The family spent £10,000, most of which went to Dignitas, an organisation which can help foreign nationals who wish to end their own lives.
But Anne believes that cost is “prohibitive” for many people in similar situations.
In the UK it is against the law to assist in someone taking their own life.
Patrick was diagnosed with MND in 2008 and was thereafter “determined that he would be able to take his own life”.
Speaking to Surrey Live, mum-to-two Anne said: “He trawled the internet trying to find ways to do it all the time, so the strain of all of that for both of us during that time was dreadful. Although we did talk about Dignitas right from the beginning, the decision to go was not one he wanted.
“But he really had no option. The shame about it is that had the UK law been in place then those four years would have been so much more pleasant. He would have known that when he couldn’t cope with it, he could have just asked for the assistance required.
“There is no way he wanted to die abroad – he didn’t think he should have to. He wanted to die in his own garden.”
Patrick “reluctantly” made the decision to use Dignitas but Anne said he had no one to talk to for advice. Anyone helping another person to die in the UK could be prosecuted for murder or manslaughter.
The family stayed in Switzerland for four days in 2012 – four years after the MND diagnosis – and Patrick was finally able to talk there to a “lovely GP” about his life and why he was seeking their assistance.
“The doctor gave him so much dignity and respect and it was such a relief that someone was on the same page and going to help – I can’t praise them enough,” Anne continued.
Anne described how they stayed in a “very nice” and “pleasant” bungalow, though without their daughters who had said their goodbyes outside Zurich.
The couple sat in its garden on a “beautiful sunny day with birds and butterflies and a pond”.
Anne, from Farnham, Surrey, said: “It was just a very calm and peaceful place and we chatted for about two or three hours before he decided to go.”
Anne said the event was filmed for the Swiss authorities and Patrick was asked if he knew what he was doing. She said: “There was nothing unpleasant about the whole process and it was so peaceful, calm and easy.
“For me, it was the most beautiful experience it could possibly have been and I have experienced being with other people who have died – not through assisted dying – both before and after Patrick.
“It is sad when you think you could hopefully have something of a similar experience here if the laws were changed. The only that is going to happen is if the MPs will pledge time in Parliament for a proper debate because the ones we’ve had recently have been timed out.”
Anne, who is campaigning for change surrounding the UK’s laws concerning assisted dying, said it cost around £10,000 – a high cost she called “prohibitive” for many people. She added: “It’s dire that not only are you dying and nobody can speak with you to help you make a decision. But then if you can’t afford it anyway then you’re excluded before you’ve started”
Molly Pike of Dignity in Dying, a not-for-profit organisation, said: “With no clear vehicle for law change in England and Wales, every day terminally ill people like Patrick are being forced to make impossible decisions between suffering, suicide or seeking the compassion of another country.
“Meanwhile, momentum for assisted dying laws are growing in this country and around the world. Parliament is now seriously out of step with the British public – 84% of whom want to see safe, compassionate assisted dying laws for the UK – and all political parties must urgently commit to breaking the deadlock to give this issue the parliamentary time and respect it deserves.
“A safe, compassionate assisted dying law for the UK is a matter of when and how, not if.” The company estimates that up to 650 terminally ill people a year take their own lives, with up to ten times as many attempts – either alone or with compassionate but illegal assistance from loved ones.
“While across the world, more than 200 million people have access to assisted dying laws, including in the USA, Spain, Belgium and the Netherlands.”
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