Over the past four weeks of lockdown, I’ve been told by numerous people that they wish they still had work – to which I always reply, ‘trust me, you don’t’.

I’m a supermarket worker, and we have next to no PPE and, as far as I can tell, everything the store owners seem to be doing has largely been to save face.

For instance, protective screens were installed over the tills, but don’t cover a large enough area to have much effect. Staff ploughed through the supply of clear latex gloves from our first aid kit within days, and now we’re given blue plastic gloves that look like sandwich bags – they fall apart and do little but offer some peace of mind.

There’s hand sanitiser, but in short supply, and there was a very limited supply of masks, but they quickly vanished too. We’ve been told we’re not getting more. In a desperate attempt to protect themselves from coronavirus, I’ve seen colleagues come in with makeshift masks, even one who wore an eye mask that you would wear to bed pulled over her mouth.

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We have floor markings to keep people two metres apart – but floor markings don’t mean sh*t when you haven’t got a mask.

I can’t help but feel angry about this, especially as I’ve also recently discovered that multiple colleagues from my store are now in hospital with coronavirus, people who I might have come into contact with when they were infected.

Some of the government-imposed measures aren’t even being followed. In a cynical attempt to lure customers away from competitor supermarkets, our store has been letting in more people than it should. I’ve had to deal with complaints about the shop being packed, and I’m told the manager was spoken to by the police about it recently.

We’re being given bonuses for the work we do right now – 10 per cent extra on earnings from March and a one-off two per cent bonus on our year’s earnings – which is nice, but in all honestly I’d much rather feel safe and protected on normal pay.

There are still customers who seem to think it’s acceptable to come in for a single pack of cigarettes or a lottery ticket. Many people also simply ignore the social distancing tape and take great joy in telling me ‘this is all just a big drama over nothing’.

I’ve even heard colleagues being called ‘jobsworths’ for asking people to follow the one-way system.

When customers behave like this it really riles me. So many of us are making enormous sacrifices; one of my colleagues can’t see his young daughter during the pandemic because he’s working here.

There was a video of kids shouting at staff in ASDA that went viral recently; with one threatening to stab a female worker, which is really scary to see. Fortunately, it’s a situation our store has yet to experience, but a few weeks ago, a customer who was being difficult about the rules shouted at me that he refused ‘to be spoken to like that by a shop-worker’, when I asked them to socially distance from staff.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t wake up before my shifts with an enormous sense of dread

When people speak to us like that it makes us feel like second-class citizens, which is terrible given that I’m actually providing a really valuable service right now. 

I’d be lying if I said I don’t wake up before my shifts with an enormous sense of dread. When I get home I immediately put my uniform in the wash to make sure I’m not bringing anything home with me. I live with five others and I feel I have to be safe for them, too.

I’ve certainly felt the pressure of working on the frontline and I have been very close to having a full-on meltdown. Towards the end of my shift the other day, I struggled for breath while doing a tannoy announcement and I felt myself getting a slight cough.

On the way home, I had a panic attack, convincing myself that I had Covid-19. I also have frequent panicked phone calls with my family and girlfriend (who I can’t see until this is over) telling them that I’m bound to catch it.

What worries me more than my own health is the very real possibility that I may have already had an asymptomatic case, gone into work without knowing and passed it on to a vulnerable customer. That thought absolutely terrifies me.

The support of my colleagues really helps – on the rare occasions we have been sent a delivery of hand sanitiser to be made available for sale, my colleagues go round to the staff first and check if anyone needs to purchase it for their own families.

It’s not all bad behaviour on the shop floor either; there’s one lovely customer who offers to bake us all cakes and brings them in when she has to come shopping.

Another provided me with a face mask (and also a small bottle of hand sanitiser that I wear around my neck). She had recently finished cancer treatment, which makes her highly vulnerable – she has to wait in the car while her husband shops – yet she wanted me to be safe.

It might sound cliché but simply knowing I’m valued really does get me through the shifts.

But as much as I love to see smiling faces walk through the shop door, if you don’t know whether you really need to go to the supermarket or not, please don’t – keep me, and my colleagues, safe.

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