When John* first heard about Italy going into lockdown in early March, his gut reaction was that there was no way he’d be able to self-isolate if the UK followed suit. 

‘I just knew I wouldn’t be able to live without socialising,’ admits the writer from London. ‘And I was right.’

Despite being aware of the severity of the virus, John has regularly met up with friends for drinks since the UK curfew was put into place on 23 March.

 ‘I don’t consider myself a selfish person, but like a lot of people I need social contact to enjoy my life,’ he explains.

‘I’m perfectly aware of apps like Houseparty. I’ve tried them, but they just don’t do it for me. When it comes to having limited social contact with mates, such as having a friend over for drinks on a Friday night – I just don’t believe the risks are that high. Every time we go to the supermarket for essential groceries we probably talk with one other person. By meeting up with a friend, I am merely adding one additional link to the chain.

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‘I accept there is some hypocrisy here,’ he adds. ‘If everyone took my approach there would be hundreds of thousands of additional links. But the vast majority of people aren’t doing it.’

John’s not alone in his outlook. The last few weeks have seen endless reports of ‘covidiots’ flouting Government lockdown laws, which clearly state that we’re not allowed to meet up with friends or family from outside our household, and if we leave our homes for exercise or essentials we must keep two metres (6ft) away from others at all times. 

So far, police in England have issued more than 9,000 fines (CHK) under these new coronavirus laws – yet people are still flouting them.

Although these rules are expected to be relaxed from next week, with a limit on exercise lifting and picnics and trips to rural areas to be allowed, police are concerned that this bank holiday weekend will spark another dangerous backlash against social distancing.

Senior officers are said to have expressed worries that the 75th anniversary commemorations on Friday will lead to people abandoning lockdown, saying that the VE Day celebrations should not be seen as an excuse for a national gathering.

But why then, when the stakes are so high, are people finding it impossible to stop socialising and just stay home? 

‘For a rule to be fully accepted it has to be meaningful, and have clear consequences if broken,’ explains psychologist Dr Roberta Babb, founder of Third Eye Psychology.  ‘If a rule does not make sense to someone or they think it does not apply to them, they can view compliance as optional and behave in a way that serves their own self-interest.’

However, while John is unashamedly breaking lockdown rules to socialise, for others it’s not so clear-cut. 

Savannah* from east London has been visiting a friend once a week since lockdown began, for mental health reasons. 

‘He lives alone and is very, very lonely,’ explains the 31-year-old. ‘I go over to keep my friend company and take him snacks. He lives in a flat with no outside space and barely ventures out. I think he’s only left twice since lockdown began.’ 

People can spiral into dark holes if they don’t have any interaction

Although Savannah admits there are times she feels guilty for breaking lockdown, on balance she’s confident it’s a risk worth taking.

‘People’s mental health are at stake here,’ she adds. ‘I know my friend, and I know he needs this real life human contact. People can spiral into dark holes if they don’t have any interaction.’ 

Meanwhile, Adele, 35, from south Yorkshire has found herself in a similarly complicated scenario when she broke lockdown to spend the night at a friend’s house following the death of her grandfather from lung cancer. 

‘We both knew that it was breaking the rules, but at the time neither of us cared,’ she recalls.

‘It was about needing comfort and someone offering it. I stayed there overnight, less than 24 hours, but having the time with someone to process and be looked after and comforted really helped me to feel strong enough to come back to my own house and continue grieving alone. We both took comfort in human connection.’

With the phrase ‘unprecendented times’ being endlessly touted in reference to the pandemic, Dr Babb believes that this is a huge contributing factor in some people’s inability to stick to the lockdown – and that breaking it might even be a coping mechanism in some cases.

‘Adhering to rules which have such a life-changing impact, such as physical distancing and self-isolation, can be especially difficult when the results or effects of the rules are slow to see and it is not known how long they will be enforced,’ she explains. 

‘Strong feelings of anxiety produced during times of uncertainty can also make it difficult for people to stick by rules, especially when they are poorly understood. Following their own decisions can provide a sense of certainty, control, agency and power which is a comforting experience during times of distress.’

But despite all of this, Dr Babb urges anyone struggling to adhere to the lockdown to remember the bigger picture.

‘Holding in mind why rules and guidelines have been introduced is vital,’ she adds. If we don’t, there’s no telling how long this pandemic will last.’

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