LONDON — The British Foreign Office is used to tackling matters of import on a global scale.

This year, for example, it was involved when Britain expelled 23 Russian diplomats as retaliation after a former Russian spy was poisoned with a nerve agent on British soil.

It helped shepherd President Trump’s contentious visit to Britain in July and, later that summer, Theresa May’s trek to Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa — the first sub-Saharan trip to Africa by a British prime minister since 2013 — during which she riveted the world with her dance moves.

The office also offers assistance to desperate Britons abroad who seek, for example, documents after passports go missing, medical help in byzantine hospital systems or legal guidance after they have been accused of being drug mules.

But there are some questions that stump even the experienced staff of the Foreign Office’s 270 overseas missions in more than 160 countries and territories. Here are some of the odd calls it received this year, the office said in an email on Sunday.

‘Strictly’ speaking

One person phoned from the United States to ask the Foreign Office to reveal who had been voted off the enormously popular TV show “Strictly Come Dancing” the night before.

Another caller in the Netherlands had just watched the movie “Braveheart” and had some questions about the plot.

Stray animals

A man in Kuwait asked “if any of our staff wanted to adopt his puppies,” the office said.

A caller in the Canary Islands requested “that we persuade his hotel to give him a different room as a stray cat had ‘broken into’ his existing one and peed on his bed.”

Veggie sausages and strange wood

One man called the office to ask where should he send a five-foot piece of wood he had found on a beach. He said he believed it could have come from a British warship from the 1700s.

And a man in New Delhi asked “what time the British High Commission opened, as he’d heard we sold vegetarian sausages and wanted to buy some.”

Women, weddings and vampires

Callers in Italy asked the British Embassy for help arranging their wedding, to recommend a florist and to get them tickets to see the pope.

One caller wondered “if we could provide a list of women in Argentina who he might be able to marry,” the office said.

One man requested that the office speak to a massage parlor in Bangkok on his behalf because he had fallen asleep during a massage and felt he should not have to pay for it.

And then there was the man who called to find out if there were vampires in Poland — “because a woman he met online asked what blood type he was before they met for their first date.”

How did the office respond to all this?

A representative said in the email: “I can regretfully confirm that the Foreign Office isn’t able to offer advice on vampires, rogue stray cats or ‘Strictly’ contestants. And our capacity to deploy veggie sausages remains sadly lacking.”

The Foreign and Commonwealth Office, as it is formally known, said that the 330,000 calls it received from January to November from Britons included “more than 3,400 people who had been hospitalized and 4,900 who had been arrested. We issued more than 29,600 emergency travel documents to help people.”

When trouble looms, Britons are advised, contact the nearest embassy, High Commission or consulate, along with consular staff members.

Yonette Joseph is the London weekend editor. She was previously a breaking-news editor in New York and has worked for The Washington Post and The Miami Herald.

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