Saturday, 18 May 2024

Communicating with a deceased loved open helps to accept death, says expert

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Losing a loved one can be extremely tough, and no two people cope with it the same way. Anyone going through a grieving process needs to know that there is no right or wrong.

Today, with social media playing such a crucial role in our lives, the digital footprint of someone who died can make things even more difficult for those left behind.

There are ways to turn off the Instagram and Facebook account of deceased family members and friends – but then, isn’t it a shame to delete their online memories?

It turns out there is now quite a common coping mechanism — one that experts say can help in the transition and acceptance period — that people turn to.

To deal with their grief, they reread WhatsApp conversations they had with their loved ones or even continue to message them.

Psychologist Ingrid Collins says: “When a loved one dies, we find it hard to adjust immediately to the fact that they are no longer physically with us.

“In the first stages of grief, we tend to become emotionally numb as a result of the trauma of bereavement, often finding it difficult to accept that they are really gone.”

It is in this phase that many find it comforting to carry one with a conversation they were having before the death. “Be it imaginary, as some believe, or communicating with the lingering soul of the loved one, as others believe,” Ingrid explains, “it is a way of softening the harsh reality of never being in their physical presence again.”

Culturally, we are taught to approach bereavement with a “stiff upper lip” but this leads many people to bottle up their emotions.

Ingrid said that “any method that enables us to prolong the comfort of the relationship with the deceased” should be “welcomed”.

She says: “Sometimes people cling on to their loved one’s physical possessions that serve as a reminder.

“Some take up a campaign in order to bring some meaning to what might otherwise appear to be a random or supposedly preventable death.”

These are just different ways “of adjusting”. Those who choose to communicate with a deceased person, Ingrid insists, are “taking an effective shortcut to arrive at some measure of acceptance”.

Source: Read Full Article

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