PRINCE HARRY increasingly plays a right-on Orville the Duck to Meghan’s woke Keith Harris – adorably word perfect, even if you suspect he didn’t write the script.

Dump the Trump! Gottle of geer! Vote for Biden! Gottle of geer!

⚠️Read our Meghan and Harry blog for the latest news on the Royal couple

With his D-grade in A-level Geography, Prince Harry is lavishly qualified to comment on an American presidential election.

Harry and Meghan’s latest sermon from their lush Californian pile piously urged Americans to get out and vote — as long as it is not for Donald Trump.

“This election I’m not going to be able to vote here in the US,” simpered Harry in a TV appearance to hail Time magazine’s 100 most influential people.

“But many of you may not know that I haven’t been able to vote in the UK my entire life. As we approach this November, it’s vital we reject hate speech, misinformation and online negativity.”

How to alienate millions of Americans in just a few unthinking minutes.

What can Harry possibly be thinking of? The last time British royalty tried to boss around Americans — 1776 — it started a revolution. Did he sleep through Hamilton? Meghan is an American citizen and has every right to be as preachy as she likes in an American election.

The Duchess of Sussex can spout her woke clichés until the organic, fair-trade cows come home — for all the good it will do doddery Democrat Joe Biden.

But why the hell was Harry sticking his ginger beard in?

Harry blundering into American politics recalled President Obama telling Brits they would have to get to “the back of the queue” on US trade deals if we dared to vote to leave the EU.

Obama’s unwanted, unsolicited advice caused widespread outrage — and a pro-Brexit backlash — but at least he was the American President at the time. What does an American presidential election have to do with hapless Harry?

The farther he gets from home, the more of a national embarrassment Harry becomes.

He and Meghan are officially “no longer working members of the Royal Family” but they are still the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, and are acting like they are more important than the Queen.

LIBERAL CLICHES

Harry and Meghan will never have a life that is truly independent from the Royal Family because their global celebrity is totally built on that connection.

It’s not because Meghan was in Suits or Harry was in the Army.

Quite frankly, without the Royal Family, the preening pair are nothing. They should have the decency to stop embarrassing the Queen, who has served this country brilliantly, by rising above politics.

Meghan should have done the anti-Trump propaganda alone.

And there are still many ways that Harry can change the world for the better.

Despite the lie that Meghan was driven out of the UK by the wicked British — even as the free-spending couple were blowing £250,000 of taxpayers’ money on one trip to Africa — there is still a lot of love for Harry in this country. And there is still much good he could do.

Sport in this country is fighting to survive. The arts in this country are fighting to survive. Our veterans are suffering. Remembrance Day is coming and The Sun has launched its Poppy Appeal to support The Royal British Legion.

Get involved with THESE noble causes, Harry. God knows, the British would welcome you with open arms.

You are not changing the world sitting in your Californian mansion mouthing liberal clichés about American politics, Harry.

You are just wasting your life.

A Sunset worth catching

MARY FITZGERALD, one of the dazzling stars of Selling Sunset, Netflix’s reality TV show about glam LA estate agents, denies the show is staged, with ex-actresses and former models just pretending to be estate agents.

“I laugh when people say we’re fake,” Mary says. “I’ve had my (estate agent) licence since 2008 and there’s a record of our deals.”

Mary reveals that the show cuts out her dirty work – we never see her crawling around examining water damage.

The cast are, in fact, far more interesting than the fictional characters of Netflix dramas.

Jason and Brett Oppenheim are the owners of The Oppenheim Group, the agency featured in the show, and the shaven-headed twins preside over their Amazonian all-female staff with the benign indulgence of Hugh Hefner at a Playboy Mansion buffet.

And while the women all have that glossy Hollywood sheen, they are all different.

Amanza, the single mum, tries to juggle work and home. Christine is a scheming Rasputin in Louboutins. Mary is oddly vulnerable, with her grown-up son and husband who is not much older.

With the prospect of another lockdown, expect interest in Selling Sunset to explode.

The show combines two enduring obsessions – sex and property prices.

CPS PAST SHAMES YOU, KEIR

LABOUR leader Sir Keir Starmer, attempting to sound as if he is ready to pick out curtains for Downing Street, compares his old job as head of the CPS with the PM’s former gig as a waspish newspaper columnist.

“While Boris Johnson was writing flippant columns about bendy bananas,” boasts Starmer, “I was defending victims and prosecuting terrorists.”

But that’s not the entire story, is it? Starmer also hounded many innocent journalists.

Operation Elveden, the five-year witch-hunt launched in 2011 to investigate payments by reporters to public officials, peed away £15million of public money while making life hell for dozens of journalists who turned out to be totally innocent of all the charges against them.

So dial down the pride in your time as boss of the CPS, Starmer. It should be a source of shame.

Boris too blinded by boffins

Dr Renee Hoenderkamp, an NHS GP, reckons it is “sheer insanity” to be shutting the country for coronavirus when flu and pneumonia are far more deadly

IT is heartbreaking to see so many healthy businesses struggling to survive.

And for what, exactly?

Closing restaurants, pubs and bars at 10pm will not kill coronavirus. It will only kill restaurants, pubs and bars. And jobs. Lots of jobs.

This is an emergency for sufferers of cancer, strokes and heart disease. The young and old are being robbed of vital life experiences.

It’s not all about Covid-19.

“There’s nothing but love from Boris for the boffins,” says a No10 source, denying there’s a rift between the PM and chief medical officer Chris Whitty and chief scientific adviser Patrick Vallance. Maybe that’s the problem.

It is fine to listen to experts. But listen to all of them.

Dr Renee Hoenderkamp, an NHS GP, reckons it is “sheer insanity” to be shutting the country for coronavirus when flu and pneumonia are far more deadly – and we never shut the country for them.

“We can’t hide from the virus,” Dr Hoenderkamp says. “Trying to eradicate an endemic disease with a short ‘circuit breaker’ lockdown is unscientific nonsense. We need to look after the people at most risk.”

Don’t confuse Whitty and Vallance with Yoda, Boris.

They are not all-seeing, all-knowing. And this dour duo of doom and gloom do not have all the answers.

Naughty Tory passion

SASHA SWIRE’S book, Diary Of An MP’s Wife, is more Bridget Jones than Alan Clark Diaries.

The most shocking bit is Sasha’s revelation that David Cameron playfully suggested her perfume made him so inflamed with pink-cheeked, rosy- bottomed, naughty Tory passion that he wanted to, “grab you and push you into the bushes and give you one”.

Have you seen the size of Dave lately? They’re going to need a bigger bush!

BETTER CHECK WITH THE BOSS, MATT

PUTTING a curfew on casual flings, Health Secretary Matt Hancock orders Brits to stop random romping with anonymous strangers.

Has he run this by Boris?

Teed off by Andy's jet jaunt

THE royal formerly known as Randy Andy cost the British taxpayer £16,000 for his private jet to The Open golf tournament in Northern Ireland in 2019.

On the same day there were 13 daily flights from London to Belfast.

Why are we bankrolling this sleazy waste of space?

I consider myself a monarchist. But Prince Andrew could turn the royal corgis into republicans.

JK cancel culture, cancelled

A STRIDENT social media campaign tried to cancel the latest JK Rowling book, Troubled Blood, because it features a male serial killer who wears women’s clothing.

Troubled Blood is currently at No1 in the bestseller list.

So much for the power of social media.

Out in the real world, it doesn’t have any.

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