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Born under an eerie sign

Tomorrow’s Friday the 13th. Superstition considers it a weird day. Your dog will growl. Your boss will growl. Misplacing her drawers, Lopez will growl.

When a Friday hits No. 13, airline tickets go cheaper. Execs cancel meetings.

Especially lousy is when there’s a full moon. This began with the Code of Hammurabi, which supposedly omitted some 13th law, is centuries old and even predates Pelosi’s first hair dye.

Listen, who knows, call it negative taboo. Call it triskaidekaphobia. Just avoid black cats, horror films, walking under a ladder and buying stuff they guarantee you can take back.

Friday the 13th occurs in any month that begins on a Sunday.

The Olsen twins, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Steve Buscemi, born on a Friday the 13th, must’ve heard how a University of Cincinnati prof opined that Dracula can be muted with the smell of garlic. But, there again, we’re back to Pelosi.

Per Britain’s Penny Thornton, “Princess Diana’s astrologer and secretary for the Astrological Association of Great Britain”: “Good is 12. Twelve is a complete number — 12 months, 12 Zodiac signs, 12 Gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 Apostles, the 12th Night, 12 months a year, even 12 days of Christmas. A hanger-on is 13. It’s squirmy. Twelve was the Last Supper. The 13th was Judas. Beliefs are the Crucifixion was on a Friday, Eve tempted Adam with the forbidden fruit on a Friday and Abel slain by Cain on Friday the 13th. On Friday the 13th, 1940, the Germans bombed Buckingham Palace. And who ever knew and where’s it come up that April 13, 1204, was the Fall of Constantinople.

“Not into tempting fate, President Roosevelt always had his secretary join for dinner if the guest list numbered 13.

“Evil is in Norse mythology. Not invited to Valhalla, the home of great heroes, troublemaker Loki, a 13th guest, came anyway and caused trouble. An arrow was shot and Baldur, god of joy, was killed.

“Some language even emanates from Norse mythology. Thursday comes from Thor. Friday from Frigg.

“Thirteen is strange ancient territory. Philip IV of France arrested and executed his knights in year 1307.”

OK. Forget calamities. I had enough. At the moment writing this, two plumbers, one electrician and an air-conditioning expert with an assistant are in my kitchen. For some strange inexplicable reason I am right now having a flood.

Montel makes over

A load of TV ago we had Montel Williams. A vet, now into his 60s, he’s also into barracks beautification. The new idea is “Military Makeover with Montel.” Civilians do the decor and Montel does the giving back. He’s organizing spaces for veterans. The new season starts on Lifetime Friday the 13th . . . I read in “Movie Stars Do the Dumbest Things”: Will Smith on doing his own underwear scenes in “Enemy of the State.” “I have a special butt. Its special curves have their own special attitude. Putting someone else’s butt in that place, the audience would feel cheated and emotionally insulted.”

Agent J.Law

For some nice luck Vince Giordano — making the music for Scorsese’s “Killers of the Flower Moon” with De Niro and DiCaprio — and his band are at Bond 45 . . . Sue Mengers, Hollywood’s onetime big-time agent in old-time good days (Bette Midler played her on Broadway) might return on film. A script’s making the rounds now starring possibly Jennifer Lawrence.

UNLUCKY? This guy cracked opened a fortune cookie and found a summons.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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