Boris Johnson is not Prime Minister.

Jeremy Corbyn won the vote of no confidence in Theresa May that was called on January 15, 2019, and entered government without a general election.

John McDonnell put him in a taxi and sent him to Buckingham Palace, where a bemused Queen and an even-more bemused Corbyn agreed he might as well have a crack at it.

In the months since, his minority administration has promised Scotland another independence referendum in order to get SNP backing for a 'Better Brexit'.

Corbyn claimed he had a mandate from 17.4m people, even though nary a one of them expected him to be in charge, or were given a choice about what sort of Brexit they preferred.

To honour the Good Friday Agreement and protect jobs, the government had to compromise. The exit agreement included a backstop, EU regulations, and copying much of existing EU law into our own statutes.

Corbyn took his plans to Parliament, and was voted down three times because it's not a 'proper Brexit'. As things began to look increasingly impossible, he sought extensions to the Article 50 deadline to give him time to persuade.

He has now stopped bothering with Parliament. In the past 3 months he's had one day in it, and during summer promised spending sprees that were uncosted and unscrutinised.

He now says he wants the worst possible Brexit. The one we were told we'd never get.

He has prorogued Parliament for an unprecedented 35 days, for the equally-unprecedented reason of enacting a law Parliament first voted for and later voted against.

It has been called a coup. Former Prime Ministers are queueing up to say how bad it is. The government is reduced to bullying people into a doing a thing nobody wants, while claiming it's what they voted for.

There have been mass public demonstrations in 32 towns and cities. Tens of thousands of middle-class, quiet, well-behaved people have marched in the capital demanding Parliament be kept open.

Jeremy Corbyn has ignored them. John McDonnell was called them childish names. Diane Abbott has told the BBC that even if Parliament passed a law against Corbyn's plans, they might not obey it.

Corbyn's unelected henchman has taken to firing advisers. He has told every Labour MP that if they do not support the purge wholeheartedly then they will be purged.

The government proclaims loudly that the solution is obvious and simple, but won't tell anybody what it is. They refuse to negotiate with the EU, while "stepping up talks" with the EU, and claim it's the critics who are stopping us getting a better deal from the EU.

Meanwhile, the nation's doctors warn the NHS cannot cope. The car industry and its 1m dependent jobs are expecting to be decimated. Government ministers who have previously warned people there will be food and medicine shortages now say: "There will be enough food."

The government spends £100m on an advertising campaign with the slogan: "Get ready for homeopathy."

What would Boris Johnson do, in these circumstances?

He would say this was tyranny by an unelected PM. He would demand a word with the Queen. He would say Corbyn was destroying the Union and the Brexit referendum gave no mandate for any of it.

He would call Corbyn a coward for ducking media interviews and running away from Westminster. He would call him Stalinist for shutting down Parliament. He would say the spending plans were mad lies and that the thousands who took to the streets were good British democrats.

He would say a Labour Brexit was going to destroy the country and cost lives. He would talk about a heap of burning sheep carcasses to equal the Great Pyramid of Giza. He would demand a general election.

And he would almost certainly quote Winston Churchill.

This never happened, of course. But it could have, and if it did every single Conservative MP would be spitting tacks and talking about Nazis.

Because a Conservative PM has done it, they say the people protesting are "a mob" and "a rabble". They say those questioning it should not get to talk to the PM about it, because what's the point.

What should frighten every politician – and every voter – is that the two main parties are so easily interchangeable. That they would both face the same problems with Brexit, and would be equally likely to be aiming at a general election which would keep them in power for 5 more years in which they could really let rip.

Both would seek to exploit the divisions among their opponents to split the vote, earn themselves a working majority, and steamroller their policies through a weakened Parliament and onto 66 million people all wondering how the hell this happened.

The truth is there are no Brexits left. They have stopped promising us jam and unicorns, and are forced to confirm there will be stale bread available in as jolly a tone as they can manage.

It is clear the Brexit we were sold will not manifest. The one the government is about to force down our throats is not only a bad Brexit, it is merely the first mouthful of a vomitous heap of rotten fish we will be eating for the next 10 years as this country negotiates the actual trade deal with which our children must grow up. Because the truth is so unpalatable, they are lying. About everything.

It is not Boris Johnson's deepest desire to destroy Britain, any more than it is Corbyn's. It is just that, if you want Brexit, that is what any Prime Minister must do to achieve it.

If you like, you can have a general election in which you either tell Johnson you don't care what he does, or ask Corbyn to do the impossible. But don't make the mistake of thinking it will make the least bit difference.

Switch the parties, and you have the same chaos. Take away Brexit, and the chaos is gone.

We would have enormous divisions, anger, and a lot more Nigel Farage. But jobs would be safe, investment would return, and the EU would work to keep us happy rather than at arm's length. The splits would heal in time, and so would politics.

We are close to a general election in which we will be told that a different party of government will mean a different Brexit. But it's Brexit itself that must be voted down.

So don't vote for parties. Vote for an anti-Brexit Parliament. Your nation, your children, and the Queen herself will all thank you for it.

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