There’s fake news. And then there is stupid news. This is stupid Newsweek.

The magazine, once a well-respected publication, carried a bizarre story last week that had this ridiculous headline: “Elderly Americans Are Dying Without Getting to Read Mueller’s Report — And They’re Not Happy About It.”

The story started by quoting a guy named Mitchell Tender — a 93-year old Korean War veteran — as saying, as he’s coming out of a dangerous medical situation, “S–t, I’m not going to see the Mueller report, am I?”

Seriously?

This guy is dying and this is on his mind?

This scene might be the makings of a comedy skit, but every journalist knows that if you look long and hard enough, you can find someone (or a couple of someones) to say anything about anything. That’s especially true if you get someone to make a stupid comment first and others just have to concur.

I bet I can also find people who are dying and don’t care about Mueller. In fact, they probably don’t care about anything. And if it were me, I’d be in that last category.

But the Newsweek story did give me an idea.

I’m going to look long and hard for first graders who’ll tell me they are happy that the Mueller report is taking so long because they can’t read yet. And, “boy, I’m glad I’ll be able to read by the time the report comes out in three years,” says my fictional first grader.

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