To the Editor:
Re “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids,” by Lara Bazelon (Sunday Review, June 30):
When Ms. Bazelon’s children are all grown, they may be able to sympathize with their mother’s point that she would “feel empty” if she couldn’t do her job lawyering.
The years when children need their mother the most don’t last very long. If she were less driven by her need for two abstractions — justice and personal fulfillment — and more empathetic to her small children’s actual, palpable needs, she would choose to stay at home more, for a couple of years.
As a professional writer and the mother of three children, six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, I found this article to be among the most chilling “feminist” arguments I have ever read.
I hope that her children are forgiving.
Anne Bernays
Cambridge, Mass.
To the Editor:
My daughter just turned 12 and recently read “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Since she was interested in knowing what was captivating me so much on my phone, I showed her Lara Bazelon’s article.
When I asked her what she thought about Ms. Bazelon’s missing her son’s and daughter’s birthdays she said: “She’s doing what Atticus did for his client. You can always celebrate a birthday on another day, but you can’t always help an innocent man.”
My work is done.
Alexis Senger
Denver
To the Editor:
Re “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids”: Really?
In fact, Lara Bazelon is balancing family and career effectively. If she were a waitress supporting her children, would we think otherwise? If “she” were a “he” and a father, reread the article and see how foolish such a “choice” seems.
Nearly all men pick priorities between family and career, often in one direction or the other. Why shouldn’t women?
Rosalie J. Wolf
New York
To the Editor:
Lara Bazelon’s confidence in choosing the needier of her clients and children conjures internal recordings of the acts of micro-sexism that decorated my legal education.
From fellow prospective male students questioning why 20-something single women were concerned about work-life balance in the legal field to backlash faced by a classmate who expressed a desire to become a stay-at-home mother rather than a partner at a big law firm, the last three years have subliminally urged me toward exclusively choosing lawyering over both lawyering and domestic responsibilities.
My single mother worked full time and provided for three children. Why is it suddenly more scandalous for a woman to work when she has a support network to help with the activities that can’t be billed to a client?
My domestic partner should not be praised for walking our dogs, and I should not be judged for letting him do it.
Tessa May Deardorff
Atlanta
To the Editor:
Lara Bazelon’s article reminds us that there are times when we all are faced with the “least worst choice.”
It’s been 20 years since my wife died of cancer and I had to navigate her terminal illness, a demanding career as an Army general, and raising two young children. Few, if any, understand how hard that was. Only tolerance and compassion can help get through such times.
Reading between the lines, I believe that Ms. Bazelon is asking for compassion in making tough decisions, something that seems rare these days.
There are few clear choices in life, like juggling children and careers, or supporting family members who are dying. Sometimes political correctness flies in the face of being human.
Stephen N. Xenakis
San Francisco
The writer, a psychiatrist, is a retired United States Army brigadier general.
Source: Read Full Article
Home » Analysis & Comment » Opinion | Striking a Balance Between Work and Family
Opinion | Striking a Balance Between Work and Family
To the Editor:
Re “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids,” by Lara Bazelon (Sunday Review, June 30):
When Ms. Bazelon’s children are all grown, they may be able to sympathize with their mother’s point that she would “feel empty” if she couldn’t do her job lawyering.
The years when children need their mother the most don’t last very long. If she were less driven by her need for two abstractions — justice and personal fulfillment — and more empathetic to her small children’s actual, palpable needs, she would choose to stay at home more, for a couple of years.
As a professional writer and the mother of three children, six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren, I found this article to be among the most chilling “feminist” arguments I have ever read.
I hope that her children are forgiving.
Anne Bernays
Cambridge, Mass.
To the Editor:
My daughter just turned 12 and recently read “To Kill a Mockingbird.” Since she was interested in knowing what was captivating me so much on my phone, I showed her Lara Bazelon’s article.
When I asked her what she thought about Ms. Bazelon’s missing her son’s and daughter’s birthdays she said: “She’s doing what Atticus did for his client. You can always celebrate a birthday on another day, but you can’t always help an innocent man.”
My work is done.
Alexis Senger
Denver
To the Editor:
Re “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids”: Really?
In fact, Lara Bazelon is balancing family and career effectively. If she were a waitress supporting her children, would we think otherwise? If “she” were a “he” and a father, reread the article and see how foolish such a “choice” seems.
Nearly all men pick priorities between family and career, often in one direction or the other. Why shouldn’t women?
Rosalie J. Wolf
New York
To the Editor:
Lara Bazelon’s confidence in choosing the needier of her clients and children conjures internal recordings of the acts of micro-sexism that decorated my legal education.
From fellow prospective male students questioning why 20-something single women were concerned about work-life balance in the legal field to backlash faced by a classmate who expressed a desire to become a stay-at-home mother rather than a partner at a big law firm, the last three years have subliminally urged me toward exclusively choosing lawyering over both lawyering and domestic responsibilities.
My single mother worked full time and provided for three children. Why is it suddenly more scandalous for a woman to work when she has a support network to help with the activities that can’t be billed to a client?
My domestic partner should not be praised for walking our dogs, and I should not be judged for letting him do it.
Tessa May Deardorff
Atlanta
To the Editor:
Lara Bazelon’s article reminds us that there are times when we all are faced with the “least worst choice.”
It’s been 20 years since my wife died of cancer and I had to navigate her terminal illness, a demanding career as an Army general, and raising two young children. Few, if any, understand how hard that was. Only tolerance and compassion can help get through such times.
Reading between the lines, I believe that Ms. Bazelon is asking for compassion in making tough decisions, something that seems rare these days.
There are few clear choices in life, like juggling children and careers, or supporting family members who are dying. Sometimes political correctness flies in the face of being human.
Stephen N. Xenakis
San Francisco
The writer, a psychiatrist, is a retired United States Army brigadier general.
Source: Read Full Article