Tuesday, 19 Nov 2024

Opinion | Older Women, Finding Contentment

To the Editor:

Re “The Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s,” by Mary Pipher (Sunday Review, Jan. 13):

Kudos to Ms. Pipher for writing about women in their 70s. However, I was disappointed that she did not mention the sadness that women feel when the mirror no longer recognizes the pretty young woman who used to stare back; the frustration of being afraid to drive in the dark any longer; the fear of going out in the snow when we used to ski down mountains; and so much more.

These are not discussed daily but perhaps shared from time to time with contemporaries. How do I know this? I am 76 years old and happily married with children and grandchildren. I have friends who have become family; I have a laugh every day and have wonderful conversations with my husband. Life is good.

But I miss the woman I used to be.

Leanna McEvoy
Fort Lee, N.J.

To the Editor:

Thanks for this great article. I went on a bicycle ride cross-country with WomanTours to celebrate my 75th year, and there were eight of us ladies over 70 on the ride. We all finished biking in the rain to dip our front wheels into the Atlantic. Our back wheels had been baptized in the Pacific three months earlier.

You need to accept change to grow older happily. Yes, I have wrinkles and my silhouette is definitely larger than it was. But I can still walk and talk and laugh, and enjoy children and grandchildren as people who have minds and lives of their own.

I’ve told them that when I can’t go out and enjoy a drink and laugh, my time will have come.

Evelyn Kaye
San Diego

To the Editor:

I’m fortunate to be one of the women Mary Pipher writes about, surrounded by friends who also fit her description. We are happy, vibrant and resilient, having withstood emotional and physical challenges and personal loss.

What we also have in common is that we are educated and reaped benefits from our inheritances and/or careers. Some of us grew up poor, but we enjoy more comforts in life than our childhood offered or that our parents ever had, and we are grateful.

But what of our sisters who grew up poor, or who became poor later, because of racism, sexism, ageism and other inequities? They are resilient women who may suffer from poor health, lack of employment and affordable housing, social isolation, and the rising cost of living.

What is our society doing to address these inequities to enable all to be vital and kicking as we age into our 70s and beyond?

Isabelle Schoenfeld
Bethesda, Md.
The writer is former chairwoman of the Commission on Aging in Montgomery County.

To the Editor:

Mary Pipher writes insightfully about the upside of being a woman in her 70s. I would add that the challenges increase as the decade passes. My peers and I are finding joy more elusive in our early 80s.

Judy Kugel
Cambridge, Mass.
The writer is the author of “70-Something: Life, Love and Limits in the Bonus Years.”

To the Editor:

I just turned 73 and was drawn to Mary Pipher’s article. As I read each compelling paragraph, I began to realize that there really is so little difference in being a man or woman as we travel through the vicissitudes of life. If the gender in her article were changed to “men” as opposed to “women,” practically all the descriptions would still apply.

Older men can be considered useless, be resilient, have empathy, suffer, grow, appreciate humor, love and beauty, and be grateful. We can choose, experience bliss, enjoy activities with friends and be kind to ourselves when we once were less likely to do so.

We are capable of knowing the joy of long marriages and friendships and of maybe finally knowing who we are.

So as I approach this ripe old age I know that I also, as a man, have gained wisdom.

Les Siegal
New York

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