Hi, Robin,

I hope you’re well. I can’t seem to find the attachment. Please re-send.

All the best,

Laura

Dear Laura,

I hope you’re well, too. Thank you for checking on my wellness — wellness has been on my mind. What are the chances that two associates at Sullivan & Partners are thinking about wellness at the same time? Lately I’ve been pondering my spiritual wellness. Sometimes I wonder, “What is my purpose?” The thought is overwhelming. Here’s the attachment.

Cheers,

Robin

Hey, Matt,

I hope you’re doing well. Please let me know if the PowerPoint is ready.

Regards,

Sasha

Hi, Sasha,

I am well, thanks to my homemade spirulina snack balls. I didn’t realize you also were into alternative medicine! I thought I was the only one at Cromwell Consulting who was seeking a more proactive approach to health. I feel that the medical establishment is so focused on disease. Here is the PowerPoint.

In solidarity,

Matt

Hi, Gina,

Just checking in on the Excel file. Please send it along when you can. Hope you’re well.

Thanks,

Lisa

Hey, Lisa!

This is why I like working with you — you care about your Barkley Company colleagues as human beings. Since you inquired: I’ve been in therapy for the last six months, I’ve cut back on smoked meat, and I’ve started growing oyster mushrooms in my basement. I sense a new beginning is on the horizon, and I’m glad you’re with me for the journey ahead. Hand in hand, we will make our way through the labyrinth. The spreadsheet is attached.

With gratitude,

Gina

Dear Sean,

I hope this email finds you well. Do you happen to have any rubber bands?

Sincerely,

Mindy

Mindy,

According to my doctor, I’m in tiptop shape. My bones are strong, my resting heart rate is 65 b.p.m., and my total cholesterol level is 180. But next month is my colonoscopy; we’ll see what it reveals. I’ll keep you posted! At my desk, I have rubber bands aplenty.

Best wishes,

Sean

Dear Emily,

Are you free to meet this Thursday to go over the client presentation?

Yours,

Chandra

Chandra,

Whoa, whoa, whoa — this email is totally inappropriate. I’m not sure what I did to offend you, but I’m forwarding this email to H.R. The presentation is canceled.

Emily

Kerry Elson is a teacher and writer.

Illustrations by Cristina Spanò

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