Voting against her own Brexit plan is desperate even for the Queen of Bizarre, Theresa May.

Nothing better illustrates her humiliating status of impotent follower than the cowed Prime Minister pretending she’d be able to rewrite swiftly a draft deal she personally negotiated with our European neighbours over nearly two months.

This is phantom politics from a figure devalued faster than the pound when she’s ignored firm replies of no. non, nein and nee.

We learned May’s word is a worthless plastic promise with this about her survival, not Britain’s.

Commons votes against leaving Europe with no deal and seeking vague “alternative arrangements” mean she’s going to Brussels and Jeremy Corbyn to Downing Street where he’ll find May’s door is open and her mind closed.

She lives to die another day and playing Brexit Blackmail hopes enough MPs will eventually decide a variant of her bad deal’s better than no deal.

Yet Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass with its Mad Hatter, Humpty Dumpty and Alice swallowed by a rabbit hole was believable compared with the humiliating tale of Twisting Theresa’s psychedelic contortions.

Brexit delayed is likelier than ever and should May miss her 29 March deadline, the PM doesn’t need to look beyond Downing Street for somebody to blame.

Should Britain accidentally crash out in a job destroying, income-wrecking catastrophic no deal, her fingerprints will be on the national disaster.

Putting party before country, shackling herself to Tory headbangers and revolting Northern Ireland mercenaries, will end in tears.

Dire Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay’s embarrassing inability to explain what would replace the Northern Ireland so-called backstop to avoid a hard border was the vacuity of a hollow strategy.

Brexit’s an expensive, destructive addition to Made in Britain scandals including the criminal gulf between poverty pay and Fat Cat avarice and poorly funded schools and hospitals starved by Tory austerity.

Tellingly during yesterday’s rehearsed speeches in Parliament we discovered blood donations in Kent are another victim of the uncertainty while the Conservatives used the debate as a smokescreen to sneak out fresh council cuts.

Contradictory votes by MPs leaves nothing resolved we’ll be back here in a fortnight.

What a carry on.

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