Thursday, 28 Mar 2024

If you'd never get a vasectomy, understand why women want control of our bodies

Dear women and the men who support us – prepare for battle.

On Tuesday, a British male MP stood up in The Commons and loudly declared that women do not have ‘absolute right to bodily autonomy’ and that abortion is up for ‘political debate’.

As I heard Danny Kruger utter these vile words, I felt bile rise up in my mouth and a fury settle in my chest that has since remained. He was, of course, referring to the Supreme Court’s decision to reverse Roe v Wade, suggesting that the UK should not get involved.

As heartbroken as I am for the women in the US who will suffer and die as a result of the ban – and the pain I feel goes deep into my soul – I am also worried about what this means for the rest of the world.

The ripples have already begun – including in Britain.

Kruger’s statement isn’t a standalone case among ministers; on the day the abortion ban was announced last week, a couple of MPs and peers expressed support for the collapse of Roe v Wade. 

Meanwhile, just last week, 61 Conservative MPs voted against extending abortion rights to women in Northern Ireland (Kruger was among them, as was Jacob Rees-Mogg and a myriad of their Conversative peers).

Yesterday, Dominic Raab, declared abortion was ‘settled in UK law’ – but in the same breath announced that this crucial right for women would not be included in the new Bill of Rights.

Misogyny doesn’t care about country borders.

Let me make this clear: my body is not now – nor will it ever be – up for discussion. Abortion isn’t political, it’s personal – I should know, I’ve had two.

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Ten years ago, I was lying on a cold bed in an abortion clinic, barely able to breathe as a nurse confirmed that I was pregnant, telling me that I was five weeks and five days along.

I was able to book an appointment within days and without judgement, was offered aftercare for my mental health and had the support of my family and friends while I dealt with one of the toughest days of my life. I was lucky.

Prior to the Supreme Court ruling, if I was living in Texas and had gone to my appointment just two days later – the state’s limit is six weeks – a doctor who performs it could be sentenced to life in prison or fined up to $100,000.

That’s if I had even made my way inside, what with pro-lifers constantly trying to scare vulnerable women into submission by calling us ‘murderers’.

I’m not the only one who is angry; women have been taking to the street, the stage (thank you Lily Allen and Olivia Rodrigo) and social media for days.

In my humble opinion, fellow journalist and author Caitlin Moran has so far had the best response to abortion bans.

‘I’ll say this once again – it would be far more logical & effective to give all teenage boys a vasectomy, only reversed when they decide to have kids, than to curtail the right of women & girls – particularly those who have been raped – to decide whether or not to become mothers,’ she tweeted, having also called out Danny Kruger for his comments.

She has since revealed that in the last 24 hours, men have come out in droves to call the suggestion ‘abusive’ and ‘brutal’ – which only proves Moran’s point.

As far as I know, no woman has ever become pregnant without the help of sperm (barring the Virgin Mary, if you’re a believer), so why shouldn’t we start at the source?

No, I’m not actually suggesting men get snipped, but do you feel uncomfortable at the thought of someone else dictating what you can and can’t do with your body? Good.

Dear women and the men who support us – we’re in the throes of a battle

That’s just a small taste of how women feel every day.

Let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment and say that bodies are up for political debate. If so, I assume this extends from conception until death, and everything in-between.

According to the independent think-tank Resolution Foundation, 500,000 children in the UK will be living in ‘absolute poverty’ next year. Parents are already reporting how they are starving themselves for days just to feed their families due to the cost of living crisis.

Why should these families be left with no choice but to have another mouth to feed?

Or how about the rising violence against women in Britain; if we’re not killed in the streets, like Zara Aleena, we’re murdered at home.

We could also talk about sexual assault; in 2021, 63,136 rapes were recorded in the year up until September.

Politicians are already doing a horrible job at looking after our bodies – and that’s without mentioning the decimation of the NHS.

Returning to the topic of abortion, I don’t believe that any woman or girl needs a reason for choosing to not become a mother, beyond simply not wanting to have kids.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices and don’t need to justify them. To hell with anyone who wants to control our bodies.

Abortion isn’t about politics or ‘protecting life’, it’s about power and I, for one, have no intention of giving mine up.

To the women and men who support our rights, please speak up. Our voices must be louder than our oppressors’. We must never give up, even when the world feels hopeless.

This is a battle and we will win.

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