Thursday, 2 Feb 2023

Harry exposes ‘childhood trauma’ as family told ‘acknowledge’ feelings

Prince Harry: Phil Schofield questions reconciliation

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The Duke of Sussex has revealed the clear breakdown in relationships between himself and other members of the Firm in his new book, Spare, but a relationship expert claims all is not lost between the royals. In order for Prince Harry and his family to repair fractured relationships, they must accept the idea that the other party feels wronged, according to a relationship expert.

The first step to mending a “broken family” is to acknowledge each other’s struggles, relationship expert Valon Asani said.

“When being faced with a broken family, often we say, ‘I don’t know where to start’ but what we actually mean is, ‘I’m scared to start'”, he said.

Mr Asani, of dating app Dua, said: “After a family fallout, one of the hardest aspects to deal with is to accept the idea that the other party feels wronged in some way by your actions, even if they were not intended to cause hurt.

“However, acknowledging how the other party feels, whether you agree or not, can show empathy and understanding that can then lead to more effective communication to be built”.

He said Prince Harry has been “incredibly open” about the many struggles he has faced in his past, including active problems such as the “lack of contact and accountability” that he feels the Royal Family are responsible for.

“The struggles that Harry details in his autobiography appear to stem from a lot of childhood trauma and repressed emotions from the environment he grew up in, which many can empathise and relate to”, he said.

An acknowledgement by the family of the Duke’s struggles, whether private or public, could have a huge impact that could lead to a reconciliation.

“However, the same sentiment applies the other way round – Prince Harry should also acknowledge that the Palace may view events differently – as the late Queen famously said ‘recollections may vary’ – and their views are also valid”, the relationship expert said.

Extending an olive branch is necessary when there has been a “severe breakdown in communication”, he said, and offering a gesture such as an “invite for coffee” or “kind letter” can establish a platform for which the relationship can start to be rebuilt.

“It can also reveal where both parties are at in terms of emotions and if they want to pursue a future relationship”, he added.

King Charles III’s coronation on May 6, being a “meaningful and happy occasion”, could be the “perfect” time for the family to reconcile and put their grievances to bed.

Mr Asani said: “The trauma that Prince Harry has recounted and shared with the world recently can manifest itself in many ways, and he likely has feelings of abandonment from his family and is seeking some form of compassion and communication from them”.

But he said if the communication starts up again, it is important to ensure boundaries are put in place to avoid another rift occurring and to make sure “everybody is on the same page”.

He added: “The Royal family, despite being extensive, are a very tight-knit family, therefore, they may be hesitant to let Prince Harry and Meghan back into their circle after this fallout, which is something Prince Harry and Meghan must recognise.

“If the couple can recognise this hesitancy, they can more effectively communicate and build the relationship back up at a pace that suits everyone.”

In a recent interview with the Daily Telegraph, Prince Harry asked the Royal Family to apologise to his wife, Meghan Markle, addressing them directly, he said: “You know what you did, and I now know why you did it. And you’ve been caught out, so just come clean.”

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