Friday, 29 Mar 2024

'Being able to marry my wife was life changing' says lesbian mum-of-two

Laura-Rose Thorogood would not have been able to marry her wife of eight years were it not for groundbreaking campaigning by LGBT activists.

She says she would not have had her two young children and if she had they would not be able to talk about their mums when they went to school.

It’s thanks to the campaigning work of groups like Stonewall, which turns 30 today, that Laura-Rose and wife Stacey, of Essex, are able to be who they want to be.

Laura-Rose, 33, was just a toddler when Stonewall was founded in response to Section 28, an offensive piece of legislation designed to prevent the so-called ‘promotion’ of homosexuality in schools.

She said: ‘I think the biggest thing to happen for LGBT rights in my life has been first having a civil partnership and later getting married.

‘I’ve been with my wife for 12 years, but we’ve been married for eight – part of that was in a civil partnership.

‘Without the law change, our wedding wouldn’t have meant anything.’

Her daughter Dottie, 5, has just started school and little brother Stanley George, one, will be following in her footsteps soon.

Dottie’s school is a welcoming and inclusive environment where LGBT families are talked about and celebrated – but that is only possible because Section 28 is no longer in place.

Laura-Rose said: ‘They would not have been allowed to even speak about their mummies.

‘Me and my wife have both come from families of divorce, so it was always really important to me that our children grow up in a family that is together.

‘I always knew, from a very young age, that I didn’t want to have children unless I was married first. I grew up with a single divorced mother, and I knew I didn’t want that for my children.

‘So being able to marry my wife has been huge – it’s been life changing.’

During its 30 years of campaigning, Stonewall has been instrumental in helping to achieve the equalisation of the age of consent, lifting the ban on lesbian, gay and bi-sexual people serving in the military, and securing legislation which allowed same-sex couples to adopt.

When she was a child, Laura-Rose went to a Catholic school, but as a child of divorce, said she was picked on by other children who told her ‘we don’t want to hang out with you’.


She said ‘That was in the 1990s and that was just because my mother was a divorced woman.

‘I can’t imagine what the reaction would have been like if she were also a gay woman.’

Dottie has not faced any questions for having two mothers, Laura-Rose said, and the couple have always been open about where she came from and why her family is different to some other children.

She said: ‘We have always been very open with explaining everything to her and she’s never had nasty comments. Actually her friends say things like “you’ve got two mums, I want two”.

’30 years ago, that would not have been possible at all.’

The introduction of lessons about same-sex relationships has sparked anger in some parts of the country as well as nationwide debates.

Some parents are angry about the LGBT lessons at Anderton Park Primary School in Sparkbrook, Birmingham, and have held near daily protests outside.

The same took place at Parkfield Community School in the Alum Rock area of Birmingham earlier this year when a huge number of parents protested lessons taught by gay teacher Andrew Moffatt.

Mr Moffatt devised a series of LGBTQ lessons about equality and challenging homophobia for children there but says he too was sent death threats and met with calls to resign.

Jamie Barry, a former Birmingham headteacher, said he too was sent death threats and once needed police protection amid rising tensions with parents.

The teaching of same-sex relationships will be cemented in law next year when the Government strengthens the National Curriculum to teach LGBT issues to children at primary school.

Laura-Rose says it is vital that children learn about LGBT families from a young age, before they are taught judgement, homophobia or social stigma.

She said: ‘I believe that how you bring children up in the early years of their life has a massive impact on them. Homophobia is a learnt behaviour.

‘Children learn stereotypes and stigmas and are influenced. That’s why I think its so important that they are told about where they come from, and about different types of relationships, so they know it as totally normal.

‘It has to be age appropriate, of course, but its really important.

‘That means they are growing up informed, they are able to ask questions. Its a really vital stage.’

After having Dottie, Laura-Rose founded The LGBT Mummies Tribe along with her wife Stacey, an online support group for LGBT+ women who are starting a family.

She said: ‘When we first started looking into our options to have children, we didn’t know where to start.

‘We wanted to create a safe space for women to ask about insemination, ask about adoption, ask about where to go and who to speak to.

‘Now we have 6,500 followers and it’s women from all over the world. We have women from America sharing their experiences, we also have women from parts of the world where it’s illegal to be who you want to be.

‘We have women who have had to flee their homes and will never be able to go back because they may have their children taken away or they may even be jailed.’

She added: ‘We are so lucky in this country, we just take it for granted how far we have come, but there is still so much to do.’

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